I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
