they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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