i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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