I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
