My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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