Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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