My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Randomize
