Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's official drugs can't kill me
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize
