Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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