they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
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I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
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You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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