I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
