I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize