Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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