Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
wakey wakey hands off snakey
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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