Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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