I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
