your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
