So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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