WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
