I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
