Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
