You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
