dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
