omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
