just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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