Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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