So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
