Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
