apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Life is so much better after having sex.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize