its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize