Ambien. No doubt about it.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
