Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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