why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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