Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
No stitches, just platelets and will power
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
