i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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