David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
