what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
