i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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