come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I am naked and annoyed.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
