It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The air was thick with penises
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
