Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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