the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize