why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
