I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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