Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
