I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
