Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
