Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
