Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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