he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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