I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
