also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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