you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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