Fuck appropriateness.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It all started with a game of naked twister.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
