I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
