All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
