ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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