It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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