I hate your face
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
is this the sara with the beer cane?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Randomize
